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Maestro-ing and Monty-ing injurys and cockups

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  • Maestro-ing and Monty-ing injurys and cockups

    Following on from a similar thread what is the daftest or most painful thing that has happened to you in the course of car ownership.

    I've had my fair share as I'm sure many of us have. Who will be brave enough to admit to some of your less proud moments

    I've lost count of the number of times I've banged my head emerging from under my car having misjudged where the end of it is. My new towbar under the van is lethal.

    I've also dropped a LARGE 3/4 inch ratchet complete with socket from arms length onto my face.

    I've placed an engine on my foot (luckily I didn't drop it there!)

    I've dropped george off of his jack (luckily onto the spare tyre I placed under his sill!)

    I've put a towbar on squint (D'oh)

    I've also been under the car (undoing CV bolts) and asked a helper to apply the brakes to stop the wheels spinning. Unfortunatly the weight of them entering the car lowered the car enough to squash me under the sump.

    I've squirted myself liberally with brake fluid (with the help of a heavy footed helper) when bleeding the brakes.

    I'm sure there are more.... I'll have to think harder.. - The Tickford Maestro Turbo Register - The Rover 200/400 (R8) Owners Club - My Rover Diesel Site

  • #2
    Was fitting a LR Discovery TDI engine once. I was underneath and was telling the person above with the hoist to push the engine back so it would line up with the gearbox, unfortunatly he decided it was a good idea to lower the hoist whilst my hand was between the engine and the ARB, i then had the full weight of an engine resting on the back section of my hand for what felt like ages, whilst he thumbed around trying to raise the engine back up It hurt, i thought i would lose my hand, the engine went up, i got out from underneath and looked.... i had a cut but that was it Don't know how i got away with that one but i did. Guess it must be all that milk i had as a child giving me strong bones :laugh:


    • #3
      I haven't sustained any injuries yet, but I did manage to shear a cylinder head stud when we were replacing the gasket last Easter. It was partly the fault of a malfunctioning torque wrench, but I should have realised I was applying too much torque nonetheless.

      Not a Maestro-ing or Monty-ing cockup, but I've already managed to drop the wire for the courtesy lamp switch on the driver's door down inside the door pillar on my Fiesta! Thankfully, it wasn't too difficult to retrieve.


      • #4
        I've had many moments of pure absent minded stupidity - I've put water in the oil / ignited fresh waxoyl in the sill with a MIG welder / leant my hand on an area I just welded etc etc

        My worst ever near-miss was when I was removing the lower/rear suspension arm bolts - They were REALLY stuck on (15 years,never toutched,salt etc etc). The car was on 4 axle stands but what I didn't realise that I was applying so much force that I was dragging the car off the stands. I looked up by chance and saw there was less tham 5mm of contact between the axel stand above my head and the chassis. Got out real quick, if I had carried on and the axel stand failed - my head would have been supporting the car via the front crossmember (something its not designed to do hehe).
        1989 MG Maestro Turbo #413

        1986 MG Maestro EFi - Dead but still here
        1985 Austin Maestro 1.3 L - Dead and in heaven

        2001 Rover 75 CDT (Daily Runner)


        • #5
          I think I have been fairly lucky really, no major decapitations or severed limbs although I have on many occasions hits my head on the roof edge when getting out, caught the top of the door in my rib cage when stepping down from the sill after polishing the roof (OUCH) and on numerous times have electrocuted myself and shaved my knuckles off, fairly standard stuff.

          My worst Monty cock up was when i had D62 FDC my first Monty high up overhead on a hydrolic lift to do some welding. When lowering her, I had forgotten to shut the passenger door which came down on top of a beam at the side of the workshop. I did not realise this until the passenger side of the car stayed up in the air as the drivers side lowered. Lets just say it took a new door and hinge to correct it afterwards!!!
          1985 Austin Montego 2.0HLS x 2



          • #6
            Cutting the side out of a 5 litre tin oil can for a drainer,with a stanley knife. Index finger went in *gash* but then I had to get it out *slash* It bled like a stuck pig for hours and I thought I'd need stitches. That was in 1989 when I was fitting a dealer modification involving lagging etc to the breather system of my Maestro 1.6HL.
            M&MOC Committee Member - Archivist
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            • #7
              err set my leg and my car on fire while welding
              not at the same time tho
              Tony Hague

              A clear enthusiast - or a nutter?


              • #8
                I had a drink of Petrol a couple of years back while foolishly blowing into a fuel pump trying to establish whether there was a blockage. Quite how I thought that'd be conclusive in any way whatsoever I don't know, but I can still taste it now!

                I've not had anything more than cuts and bruises to date, wouldn't want to risk any more. There's now a nasty cut in my middle finger after trying to assemble a flat pack work bench in the garage yesterday. Why is it with these things you only discover you've got a crucial panel on the wrong way round just two bolts before completion, leaving about 3 trillion to go back and undo again!
                Jonathan Sellars

                1987 MG Maestro 2.0 EFi
                2011 Jaguar XJ


                • #9
                  I am sorry but i am going to have to cough to this little faux pas........
                  In the early nineties i was the proud owner of B879 JBD a 1.3L maesty,i decided to have open the bonnet and have a good look. I was trying to remove a small sparrow that had somehow got thru the grille and welded itself to the radiator,when i knocked the bonnet stay (which i hadn't propely seated into it's hole)and subsequently got duffed up by a rather large bonnet and catch
                  They say curiosity killed the cat.....i'm just glad my maesty was in a good mood..........


                  • #10
                    Ahh yes, I remember getting a mouthfull of LRP from our old maestro. I was young and silly then.. oh well not much has changed

                    The think I remember about having poetrol in my mouth for that split second was the sensation of it boiling on my tongue. A very odd sensation which I hope to never experience again.
           - The Tickford Maestro Turbo Register
           - The Rover 200/400 (R8) Owners Club
           - My Rover Diesel Site


                    • #11
                      mine was when i was getting a spring off my saab turbo the screwdriver broke and flew in my eye thought i was blind could not see a thing out of it i cut my eye open. and i had to go to the A&E that was some pain for 2 weeks now have a scare on my eye will never do that again


                      • #12
                        Mnaged to set my motorbike on fire once. Had been messing with the carb so there was petrol about then decided to try the spark plug to check for a spark and there was, it ignited the petrol and I had to run for buckets of sand which were luckily close to the garage, clever stuff.

                        I also tried to lift an engine out with a friend. We didn't have a hoist or anything so we just wrapped a rope round the engine and tried to hump it out. After half an hour struggling and the engine not budging somebody spotted the rope was around a cross member and we'd been trying to lift the whole car! Ho hum everyone makes mistakes.


                        • #13
                          I'm supprised no one has mentioned the injurys these cars can inflict on your bank banace never mind body parts!


                          • #14
                            My old Maestro HL killed a horse once. Or was it the horse that killed the car? Both were a write off.

                            Note to animal lovers: It was a stray gypsy horse that was jumped onto the road at 1 in the morning and into my path. No owner came forward, which was a shame because I'd have made a claim against them. (The Police were present at the scene). Car wrote off for 2,600. An unpleasant business all-round.
                            Last edited by Simon; 18th May 2004, 11:59.
                            M&MOC Committee Member - Archivist
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                            • #15
                              I am always grazing and cutting myslef, at work, and when working on the cars (rusty hoseclips are good for that), the "electricians bandage" comes in very useful, this is simply a bit of tissue (if you have it) and wrap insulation tape around. I did this after cutting my hand quite badly in the FAMR on HMS Newcastle, it wasnt until lunchtime I realised how bad it was, and the trail of blood up my arm at which point I was frog marched to Ocupational Health!!

                              Biggest regular blunder with the car(s) is hitting my head on the bonnet catch. It was only since I greased it up good and proper after it kept getting stuck, that I would bang or just brush my head on it, picking up huge globs of grease. Not good while at an event, with the thought of driving back with grease in your hair.

                              The other classic for me is putting tools down, then going to pick them up, and they have gone, you swear, curse and look everywhere, and all the time its there in front of you the whole time!